Trusting God | Big Changes
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a personal post…actually a very long time! I’m not one for usually doing a huge blog post on what’s going on and am usually pretty open on social media about what’s going on and to be honest, I’m not the best writer and sitting down writing a huge blog post gives me huge anxiety…. however this year is different and a lot has happened! So I’m going to try to write a post on the amazing lessons that I’ve learned from the Lord and give an update on life.
My amazing husband Kyle and I just celebrated 9 years of marriage together on August 4th! (photo below of our anniversary)
What an amazing 9 years it has been! We were literally babies when we got married (I had just turned 20 and he had just turned 22nd in June).
When we got married we always thought that around the 5 years mark, we’d have kids no problem. 5 years quickly came and went and for some reason both of us said “no way” to kids and “maybe someday”. We had just bought our 1st house together and our marriage was amazing. We finally had good jobs, we welcomed our 1st FUR baby into our home, our fur baby Nikon, the business was taking off and I had no intentions of slowing down and we started traveling a lot together, which is something that we discovered that we absolutley loved doing together. We were so happy and living life to the fullest and have been ever since with no intentions of slowing down or changing.
I tend to be a little bit of a control freak, and love to know and think that I’m in complete control of my life. Photographing weddings helps with that a lot since I usually book up completely the fall before the next year so I usually know what my next year is going to look like work wise. I think that this year has been a great reminder and growing experience from the Lord that I am NOT in control even though I like to think that I am!
Case in point, on May 12th of this year I was feeling a little off and different than normal, especially when working out. I was SO tired and couldn’t figure out why, because usually that is not the case. I decided to take a pregnancy test just to see thinking that it totally wouldn’t be anything and that running / lifting was causing my hormones to act super strange. I nonchalantly took a test and there it was…I was pregnant. Kyle and I had pretty much come to the point where we “thought” that we weren’t going to have children….at all or at least anytime soon. I was so shocked that yes, I started to cry, I said “no” probably 1000x and started to freak out. I probably bought $100 worth of pregnancy tests later that day because I was in such shock! I seriously could not believe it!!! Sure enough, every single one of them said that I was pregnant. This was around 2 pm in the afternoon and Kyle was at work and I didn’t want to call him with the news, so I kept taking test and tried to pray while also crying and just plain freaking out. I actually had a shoot that evening and decided that I’d try to pull myself together, go shoot, go get some more test and talk to Kyle when I came home. In between all the google searches, crying, taking more tests, I was a mess and was trying to figure out how far along I was, when it happened etc. I called my Dr before the shoot and they were able to get me in the very next day to see how far along I was. I did the shoot, and decided to get one more test (or a couple) on the way home. It was a scene straight from a movie. I went into the isle and picked up 4-5 more test (plus one that was supposed told you how far along you were) and as I was in the isle, there felt like there were 10 screaming babies all around me. I totally started crying and tried to make my way to the register….yeah the poor check out lady probably thought I had lost it! lol!
When I arrive at home, I saw Kyle in the front yard mowing, I pulled in, got out of the car and said we need to talk and right away he said “You’re pregnant aren’t you?”, I started balling and he took me in his arms and just held me, which is what continued to happen the rest of that night. He was super excited and kept reminding me that God had a purpose for this and to trust him and that we’ll figure it all out in time.
That right there has been the biggest lesson that I’ve learned this year from the Lord. Since that day, it’s been absolutely amazing to see God’s hand in all of this and that it’s truly a gift and something that HE has complete control over. The experience of growing this little nugget has been an amazing, inspiring time that I’ve been blessed with from God. He has been at work in me as He crafts this little baby week by week. I’ve learned to trust in Him and His amazing plan for our lives, and honestly being pregnant has brought me SO much closer to Him! It’s am amazing thing when something happens that you aren’t ready for and think that you have complete control over. Anytime that I start to get overwhelmed or start to freak out with such a big change coming, I look at everything that God already had a hand over in Kyle’s and I’s life and I rest in the fact of knowing that He already knew that this was going to happen and that HE knows that I can handle this pregnancy and what’s to come. It’s been a huge lesson to “try” to give up control and realize how much God loves us and offers his Grace to us and how his hand is over absolutely everything!
I recently received an amazing book from my mother in law and I love what it says about getting closer to The Lord through this time: “God wants to be close to you whether or not you are pregnant. But there is something so revelatory about having a baby that it seems to invite His presence even more. You are experiencing daily miracles, and He wants in on that. All the joy. All the hope. All the creativity. And you need Him right now. In those moment of reading His Word and listening for His voice, He will remind you once again how much He delights in this new little one that He if forming. “. (Expectant Blessings by Susanna Foth Aughtmon) I absolutely could not agree or have said that better and love that!
Being pregnant has also brought Kyle and I closer together and is such a fun experience to be so excited about something together. It’s been so much fun for me to see Kyle get so excited, to talk to her (which she always responds like crazy with kicks when he does) to have him feel her and to grow and experience this together. I’m constantly trying to remind myself to not be too eager about the future, and to remember the huge lesson that God has taught me to trust Him with everything in life and to not rush stages and enjoy this stage of pregnancy with Kyle and to not wish that way.
The day after I took the test I went to my dr and she estimated that I was 6 weeks along. Kyle and I went to do an ultrasound that next Tuesday, May 17th and we able to see a little blinking nugget and see the heartbeat. Right then I started to get super excited and realized that there actually was a little baby inside me. From then on, we called it our Little Nugget and the anxiety and fear started to slowly melt away as it continues to do so month by month.
We found out we were having a baby girl on August 19th surrounded by friends at our gender reveal party! It was so much fun!!
You can watch the video of our reveal below 🙂
Since finding out about having a girl and being pregnant, we’ve been none stop crazy busy. Before we found out we were pregnant, Kyle and I were seriously looking to move closer to downtown since we works down there and since I shoot a lot down there, just to be closer. However, after putting in an offer and seeing the market, and after finding out we were pregnant, God was at work in that as well. Our offer fell through and at the time, it was a disappointment, but now we couldn’t be more thankful. We have decided to stay in our house, we refinanced this Spring which opened up doors to make our current house exactly how we want it. This allows me to cut back some on weddings as well. If that offer had gone through, there would be no way of cutting back on weddings next year. I usually shoot around 25 a year, and with a new born, I knew that I couldn’t keep that up with such an adjustment. Another huge blessing has been that I am fully booked for next year, 2017 with an amazing schedule of 14 weddings all spread out. It’s going to be so interesting to see how life looks now with our little girl, but I’m so thankful and excited!
We’ve done several house projects and “thought” we were all done early this spring with house projects, but that was a funny thought. lol. Since we are staying we have decided to finish the basement and redo the main living area and obviously the nursery. I’ll be posting before and afters of all of our house projects to share with everyone in another blog post! It’s been lot of stress but also a lot of fun and I’m so excited to get all these projects done before she arrives.
I am now in the third trimester of pregnancy! I can NOT believe how fast time is flying by! My due date is Sunday, January 8th, 2017! That is another huge blessing from the Lord as well. We couldn’t have timed this out any more perfect if we were trying. My last wedding this year is November 12th, which gives me plenty of time to catch up on editing, enjoy the holidays with family and get ready for baby girl to arrive! It’s going to be here before we know it and she is also growing like crazy!!!
We have decided on a name as well! Little nugget is going to be Blakely Mauck. We still haven’t decided on a middle name, but that’s to come. 🙂
What an amazing year and I’m so excited to welcome little Blakely into this world and become a Mom, watch Kyle become a Father and become a little family!